Posts tagged ‘beliefs’

Fight or Flight instinct

Which do you tend to follow more?
I can never choose.

I’m not talking about coming across a bear in the woods, or a bully in school (in which case I say fight however you might, so long as you can win it- yes, I know that sounds very… I don’t quite know how to put it, but I have a theory behind it. All for another time). No I’m talking about coming into conflict with someone we all know and love and wish we didn’t have to fight with but sometimes… Well sometimes it really can’t be avoided.

I just got into a fight with one of my best friends.
Again.
I think she’s wrong (therefore I’m right).
She thinks she’s right (therefore I’m wrong).

But he problem is, we are both so stubborn (she can’t deny that I got that from her) in our beliefs and unless you present either of us with proof as to the truth being other than what we are fighting for we simply will not turn the other way.

The problem is she has a reputation for certain things. All of which add up to her horrid stubbornness:

1. She has a very selective memory. So she remembers what she wants to remember and not what she doesn’t.

2. She has a reputation for twisting other people’s words. When you pair this with her selective memory (and hearing at times) she is very hard to deal with. (example: we were trying to find a store someone had suggested to her. They said it was down the street on the side of the same side as Store X. SHe remembered “it is right beside Store X”. the result? we wasted 45 minutes looking for it when I was insisting that we widen our search rather than treading and retreading the 100 or so meters maybe one of them was mistaken. SHe insisted that she had heard right (sure she might have, but does that mean she understood right? selective memory and that they had said what she thought they had said… I was right. lets just leave it at that. It was about a km down the road.)

3. She also has a habit of not giving you her full attention no matter what you are talking to her about, or when, or where. and her excuse: it wasn’t a good time, I was busy, couldn’t you see I obviously couldnt hear you properly? and then she twists around you words. Or you tell her you are going to your friend’s house after school tomorrow, she says what a wonderful idea it is and then tomorrow afternoon- GUESS WHAT! she’s freaking out cause she’s thought you have been kidnapped and then gets mad at you for going out without her permission or without letting her know at least where you would be.

Then again it doesn’t help that she worries a lot.

Anyways when we get into a fight everyone else makes themselves scarce. We all do it whenever anyone gets into a fight, no matter who or about what. Its kinda like “Let them work it out and grow stronger together through it, ON THEIR OWN. LEave or risk having your head bitten of in hot blood”- an unspoken law in our household, as everyone knows to lay low and wait out the storm when they feel one brewing.

However when someone is asked to back someone else up, normally our parents go for one another, leaving the kids with the kids (not that I’m saying we are kids! We are all young adults, and act very much like it… most of the time). Not that even having the four of us agianst the two of them is much help either. Besides, we know both parties are equally biased so we don’t take any aid to account to much.

Anyways back to me. (I know this sounds really self centered…- wow deja-vu. just had to share that with you)

Anyways I always want to just walk away and let the storm blow over, tempers cool and then approach the issue in a more reasonable manor. sitting down, face to face, making sure we take turns talking because we never do…

But I also want to just stay and scream my head off at them. Gawd I hate being so stubborn sometimes.

So what do I do? Scream a little. Go take a shower (water makes me feel better. Idealy I would jump in a pool and just sit at the bottom until my heart had stopped racing and then surface- but closing my eyes and imagining a waterfall works too) and there I cry a bit (because I hate feeling the way I do then. If its bad enough to make me take a shower then it is bad. but most are. ANd I cry a bit in there too. Though I never really know if I’m crying or just sobbing.

Ironically enough the shower thing is another thing passed on through the female line in my family. My grandma always used to say that stepping out of the shower feels just like being reborn. Which I think a bit too. And yes, my mom says this all the time too. Hence the irony.

Next step, sensing when the time is right for both of you, not too soon or too long after the fight to talk sanely.

Well its getting late, she’s asleep and so I will be soon, hopefully and there you have it. More lemons thrown into the fruit cocktail that is my life.

About that, I know I promised more recipes, but here’s one for when the warm weather returns to those of us who are experiencing some near summer frosts. Take a large glass jar, or any sort of topped see through container to fill witha t least a liter of water. Place in it 4-5 (or more depending on volume of water) tea bags of your favourite selection (great opportunity to try mixing too!) Leave in a sunny spot all day long, you might have to move it with the sun. It needs at least 3 hours of good sunlight. But you should be able to tell when its ready. THe water is actually hot, if the colour dosen’t tell you enough!

Take out tea bags sqeezing tea from them for the extra deep flavour. MIx in however much sugar is to your taste. Refrigerate over night or ice. We do this all summer long and my personal favourite is Twigging Forest Berries tea. It is so refreshing made in a iced tea. And Believe me when I say my siblings and I LAUGHED when we saw commercials for NEW Twiggings iced tea. We’ve been doing it for years, sorry guys, beat ya to it. We just don’t have the money to advertise it all over the television.

Also another great use for those lemons. slice
em up and throw ’em in the jar.

There you have it, another entry in the diary that is this blog. I’m much more faithful seeing that someone is actually reading it where as my real journal, for my eyes only gets forgotten and prioritized against much to often.

Ok, I’ll try once more. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!

P.S. tell me what you think, fight or flight, in the comments.

P.P.S. Or you can contact me at my email: miraellarose@yahoo.com – or on Facebook at Mirella Rosaria.

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Meet Missy!

Spring Time in CanadaWell hello there everyone!

I promised you all a link to my friend Missy’s new blog and here it is:       http://missymoooonstar.wordpress.com/

She has made it her purpose to prove that teenagers CAN think. When you were a kid, didn’t everyone always look down at you and tell you how much you had left to learn? Tell you how you thought you were so smart… when you weren’t (even if you WERE right and they were wrong)? Well the two of us both love reading. And I love writing poetry. No haickus and meaningless limericks for me. I like the deep matter. Life, Love, Happiness and Death. Oh sure there are a few more. Human rights, animal rights, illness, injustice, frustration, prejudice and so on. Some people read them and are supportive, or give praise even. Congratulate me on my vocabulary, on how I presented my ideas and so on.  But of course there are those odd few that are utterly bitter and say how I’m only biting off more than I can chew and making a mask of my writing. They think that just because I’m 16 I can’t write something deep, or have my own, unbiased views on the meaning of life, and beliefs about what’s important, or what makes me happy or so on without them being stereotypical. THOSE are the people I think are living their life with blinders on. THOSE are the people who people who are shallow, and hypocritical and just plain ignorant to the fact that yes, teenagers can think, do have minds, and personalities and do not all just go with the pop culture stream…

Anyways, that’s why I’ll occasionally put up a poem or two, or a recipe I like or anything of the sort, to show you guys out there what teenagers can be like, and that is why Missy is trying to get input from the world and come up with a big theory of the meaning of life. We each have some parts of our own, and like I said before, I will (hopefully) be contributing to her blog quite a bit.

Her most recent blog was on music, the universal language.

My mom always said that there were only three things that not even cultural, appearance, or even class differences can separate from person to person. Those are maths, love and music. Because no matter what no matter where you are even, 2pi r squared is the area of a circle, and you can’t do anything about it if you like someone. These things have been programmed in us, Mathematics into our brains from our early childhood, and love and attraction from adaptations, its in our genes. Music on the other hand, goes beyond that even. I think that when you dance, or you sing, or you play music, you are praising God, life, the world. Your fellow people and inhabitants of it, the tree outside your window and the flower blossoming down the road. Music is something, like magic that resides deeper than our minds and hearts. Its more than instinct and a textbook. Its something unimaginably powerful and unsurprisingly is the base of the two other universal languages. What came first, music or love? Trigonometry or music? What came first, the lyrics or the song, the dance or the beat? Its hard to say. But they are all each other. There’s a reason why all great mathematicians are somehow, even subconsciously musically gifted. Two of the three math teachers at my school play music. My oldest brother, a musical prodigy, and exception to the 10 year rule, is a great mathematician when he applies his whole mind. Music is all about expression, as is love, as is dance. Dance is all about expression and love. Love is FULL of music and dance! Why do you think newlyweds’ first dance together is such a big deal? its their first act of trust, unison, expression to each other while wrapped in the music (no formulas floating around visibly and cornily, but they are there).

If you want to hear some absolutely amazing lectures on music and everything I was just talking about you should go to the New York City Lincoln center and hear some of Branford Marsalis’ workshops “Jazz at the Lincoln Center” are full of great music and profoundly deep lectures.

Sadly, though I love escaping from the world and writing here, I must return and start revising and doing homework and all the horribly standard things that await a teenage girl when she re-awakes into the world.

More Later,

Mirella Rose

P.S. picture credits to my dear friend Mike in Canada. He took and allowed me to use the picture you see above. I know it might be a bit random, but I thought it was beautiful and might remind us all that spring always comes round at sometime or other, its just waiting for when you will most appreciate it. Enjoy it while it lasts, soon it will be too hot and after that too cold. Embrace the grey area, the No man’s Land.