Too mad to write today. A friend of mine (ok so shes not a very good friend and is rather annoying, but im oblidged. she doesnt have that many friends, and at least i can help her.) fractured a part of her foot last night. Her parents refused to take her to the hospital or even get her ice and she had to rely on her 9 year old sister to do so for her.
Most disgustingly though, she shouldnt have even broken it. She merely twisted her foot while going down the stairs, something I do at least once a week and I have never broken a bone. Sadly however she is very thin (though not anorexic, she just can’t get food) and as a result I believe her bones were left brittle and it merely snapped.
Also she was mad when walking down the stairs she says.
What do you do when you think your friend might be abused but you dont know how to help. I think about what happens to her and I can’t help but want to take her away from her family and force feed her. Her motor skills and cognitive functions are also sorely lacking as a result of what i believe to be malnutrition. Would you ever let your child come to school with nothing but an apple for the entire day and no money to buy food with either? Would you ever ground them for taking their hair down during the day? Especially if their other siblings which they have a lasting fued with tattle on them? Would you ever, ever make your child bike to the stationary store and buy their own school supplies with their own allowance when they live miles from a grocery store even?
Would you ever ever ever ever ever refuse to take your child for an x-ray if they are 16 and screaming and crying in pain? ANd her mother was down stairs having tea with a friend, and screamed at the daughter for making noise and over reacting while she was trying to enjoy herself? Would you ever, as a father, tell your child who is in so much pain ” Yeah, well there’s nothing we can do?” ? Would you ever make your child pay for their own crutches? Would you ever neglect them to the point that they go to the school nurse for a letter saying she needs an x ray? Or when she had nits, that she needed to stay home and wash her hair with certain shampoos to get rid of them?
Her situation has been bothering me for a few years now. Well two, thats as long as I’ve known her. She is horribly skinny. I fear she could break every bone in her body by just falling down!
I don’t know what to do. Her sister will throw a tantrum in the morning for her simply commenting on how she hadn’t been able to use the bathroom yet, and she gets in trouble for it. So much that despite the fact that her parents will be going to the school to drop off her 2 siblings, they will make her take the bus to and from school and tell her that they dont want to see her again for the rest of the day. I’m sorry but you DO NOT DO THAT TO YOUR CHILD! Not just because it is immoral, and counter productive, and she ends up having to walk quite a bit and also she ends up getting to school late and having to be careful when she gets home so as not to alert her parents.
I fear for her, and do not know what to do. I have spoken to my mother and she agrees.
I mean when a 16 year old girl is crying in her bed and you would rather attend to your own social life, you should not be a mother.
Advice plz
May 19, 2010
Mirellarose
13 responses to “Injustice reigns everywhere”
Dani
May 20th, 2010 at 14:13
its dani, are you serious?? i didn’t know it was that bad. she had to pay for her own crutches, are u fxking kidding me?!?! that outrageous! I’ve noticed that she’s kinda slow and stuff as well… does she eat anything? What the hell is wrong with her parents!?? i swear, Im so lucky to have the parents I have, I would have commited suicide if I was her.
This is crazy. Btw what does “they have a lasting fued with tattle on” mean?? answer asap
Mirellarose
May 20th, 2010 at 14:25
No I’m dead serious. Thats Why I was so pissed today! I mean like you said, what kinda parent does that? SHe’s slow probably because of being malnourished when she was younger. She and her siblings have to make their own lunches inthe mornings. ok thats fine, but would a parent ever let a 9 year old make their own pasta? I mean her sister is hardly even tall enough to see over the stove and she is cooking her own meals. And sure, let your child cook for themself, but MAKE SURE THEY ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT! Sometimes all she has is like a dozen (no more, if so many) raviolies. and an APPLE! For Pete’s sake thats not a lunch, especially when you are as skiny as she is! Nor is a piece of white bread with the crusts cut of with one slice of cold cut on it.
I meant that her brother and sister will tell on her, a lot of the time, from what she says, when she hasnt even done anything. Shes not a very good liar, and I believe her, especially after meeting her mom at a glance, just twice and being terrified even before I knew her daughter so well. Oh and as for the lasting feud, its just that she and her brother and sister fight with eachother, like fist fights as though they were 3, and probably have been fighting like that since they were three. I’m sorry but my two brothers never even fought so bad with eachother!
missymoooonstar
May 20th, 2010 at 20:16
OMG.
I feel soooo bad for this girl.Give her a hug for me??
Mirella,you are THE NICEST person I know.You also happen to be my bestie.I know that you’ll (in some way) help her.Even if not in a big way.It all sounds sooo terrible,but I don’t know if you are able to controll it.Mabye talk to someone at school?Like a conselor?Or you could try talking top her about it?but mabye you already have..
Anyway,I hope,hope,HOPE that she gets better(I’m not just talking about her ankle)
sorry hunny,i think that’s as much info as I can give.xoxo missy moo.♥
Mirellarose
May 21st, 2010 at 05:55
Thank you Missy. I was really worried this post would come across as … gossipy? But I am genuinely worried for her! I don’t know what to do. We never really had counselors at school we had “personal tutors” which meant each teacher had about 15 kids that they would have a lot of interaction with and be able to go to for any problems with school, social life, or family life. This year though we never got to learn who our tutors are. I don’t know, I think they decided to not have them in the end or something. I try to do what I can, I give her some of my lunch, I try to help her with subjects she doesn’t get that I do, I try to tell her that how she is being treated isn’t right and it doesnt have to be so. The problem is, that though I don’t beleive she would be capable of lying about something like that, and even though her mom has terrified me on the few occasions I met her, its her word againt anyone else’s. My mom and I are going to discuss it. Even after it was determined she had a fracture on her foot, her parents didnt wnat to get her a cast, thought it was unnecesairy. HELO!!!!
It all helps Missy. Thanks for it, and your support. I’m more determined than ever to do something.
xo, The Mira on the Wall. (ella)
Phoebz
May 25th, 2010 at 14:04
hi,
well i am not sure what to say… well that is definetly child abuse and her kids should be taken away from her. its disgusting and horrible to think that she live in a house filled with fear and pain because her mum cant be bothered to to take her to the doctor and have an x-ray which takes like 5 minutes to do. that is bad parenting and i think the school should do something about it becasue as kids we cant but as a ‘community’ and adults they can. its horrible i dont know how she can live with it, both of her parents abuse theri kids in such a horrific way. you would expect that in a third world country not in a city like Athens. what the hell? thats just nasty… how do her parents sleep with when they are such bad people?
Mirellarose
May 25th, 2010 at 14:31
Exactly, that is one of the things that makes this so horrific. These are EDUCATED individuals, living well in a modern society. They are well paid professionals, and are not living in a LEDC (geography revision comes into play) with a low income, or even poverty stricken. Sure, teach your kids to be money wise, but GIVE them the neccesities! My grandma always used to say that kids are like a piggy bank, you get in what you put out. Sure this could be seen as education and sutff, but its also love, and oppertunities. If you treat them well and protect them while they are vulnerable they will look after you when you are. When she speaks of her parents, its rarely ever good, and she trembles, (thoughh that could be because she is so skiny again) but she can get to tears, just telling us about the latest strife that has happened int he household JUST THAT MORNING! sure she loves drama and wants to be an actress, but she isn’t that good, I dont think any one is.
It is child abuse, there is no doubt about it. Sure she got the medical care in the end, but it shouldn’t be that hard for her to get it. and thats not even the point, the point is that she has been starved, physically and emotionally since birth, being an unwanted child her mother tried to get rid of her (so a friend’s mother says her mother confided in her) and ever since no one has cared for her. For everyone else reading this, today for lunch, no one was willing to help her make a lunch, not her brother or two sisters nor either parent becuase her parents were upstaris chatting and the kids have to do everything in the morning, (even chores before coming to school) and since she couldnt make her self lunch by hopping around since her foot is in a cast and she is on crutches, she grabbed “whatever was in the cupboard”. WHat was that? Two snickers bars, the little tiny ones that are as long as my pinky. thats all she had ALL DAY! I’m sorry but that would last me about two hours…
I’m glad we will finally be taking action, its long over due. Her dad isn’t any better though. ANd they shouldn’t have had kids in the first place if they think of them as a bother. if you dont want to put up with accedents and broken dishes and bones, then adopt a 20 year old. If you dont want to pay and allowance and care for them and nuture them, adopt a 30 year old, if you want someone to take care of you in your old age without you taking care of them? well then adopt a nursing home. thats all there is to it.
But I’m scared as to what would happen to them if they get taken away from their parents. Would they got o live with their grandparents in Switserland? Their parents are also gonna be mad, at us, the school, and the kids. I’d hate to think what would happen if they ever have to live with them again! Ande who knows if our school will even do anything. They will probably be to scared of a lawsuit to do much more than suggest councilling, which frankly? I don’t think will cut it.
Oh well, we will just have to do all we can. 😦 sad day again after thinking about this again…
Phoebz
May 27th, 2010 at 08:45
well the best thing we can do is tell the school and see what happens. hopefully whatever happens will be for the best for her and her siblings. still what the hell were her parents thinking when they had a child?????? sorry that is really bad parenting and even the worse of the worst don’t do that to their kids. does the mother even love her kids??? and the father i think he is terrified of his wife and thats why he is never home!! oh well lets just hope something changes!!
Mirellarose
May 28th, 2010 at 19:08
Yeah, I agree, I mean I think it is just getting worse after the break…. its horrible. She can hardly not cry when she speaks of the situation at home (which unfortunately she dose all but CONSTANTLY!!!!!!!!) and its soo horrible that everyone bullies her. The don’t realise what its all about.
What were they thinking we will never know. However, go to your biology book, the section on malnutrition, the one I showed briefly earlier today. The third paragraph, first picture. There is also a segment in our geography book, now that we are done I will bring it on Monday to show you. I think that might be a big part of the problem. I mean it fits right? And her brother was born less than a year after her wasnt he? I think it must be part of it…
I don’t know if the mother knows what love is. Can you believe she used to be a model or dancer as the girl says? I don’t know if I believe that after seeing her now. She is not a model’s build and WAY too tall to be accepted into any dance company to be anything but a soloist, however I doubt she was that good.
I agree with you. He doesn’t seem like that bad a person. She certainly seems too like him best out of her parents, but I think they are both too scared to do much about it. Like to stand up to her. I don not think she has a back bone. I mean she is so insecure now that she can not even sit alone for five minutes. I have to find and show you that article.
drusillah
July 7th, 2010 at 08:04
Wow…. That’s really horrible!!!
I truly hate such parenting and behavior!! I understand you fully, I would be pissed off as well and wanting to help. I would try to “attack” the mother/family where she is vulnerable. For example, she cares about “appearances”? Well tell it to the principal, teachers, etc, so she can be made a fool in front of them. Of course that might make it worse for the girl. Ugh… I don’t know. 😦 Child-care services maybe…? They would take action I believe. Are you living in USA? It might truly be better for them to live in Switzerland as you said, away from such a terrible family. I feel sorry for her… 😦 She must have very low self-esteem, feeling like she doesn’t deserve love, affection, or good things. 😦 I hope sth will be done.
Mirellarose
July 7th, 2010 at 08:38
Thank you. I felt so bad ranting about it, as though I were either gossiping or putting my nose where it doesn’t belong. But I had to. Shortly after I wrote this, my friend and I who had been talking decided we had to do something. Exams were here and it was getting worse. The poor girl was under so much pressure from her parents. She wasn’t eating because no one was willing to help her pack a lunch. she wasn’t sleeping, she was getting into fights with all her family. No wonder she didnt have good performance in her exams! Like you said, I wanted to lash out on the mother the next time I saw her. (Thankfully I don’t see her much, she gives me the chills. This aura of menace just emanates from her, can you imagine living in a house with her? her father seems decent, but I would be scared to take action after she puts down her foot so I don’t blame him!- well yeah I kinda do).
Anyways after exams were done (seeing as we have only half an hour break total in the whole day durring exams it was out of the question to talk then) we spoke to a teacher about it. She was concerned. And we ended up speaking to another teacher as well. THe girl does have very low self esteem. She gets picked on by loads of the boys and most of the girls give her greif too. One teacher spoke to some of the boys.
What really helped though was that we went on a class camping trip, during which some of the boys started sling shotting balloons. Great fun until one jack *** of a boy (thank goodness he isnt coming back in september) threw one in her face and started laughing. Being hit with a tennis ball hurts enough without rubber snapping too. He didnt even appollogies. But we dont care about him. He’s out of our lives forever!!!! THat night, in light of what he had done, a bunch of boys who had been antagonizing her got into a fight. They resolved it, and their long lasting issues with eachother as well. About half a dozen of them realised what jerks they had been and how they had wasted the entire year. The banded together and pulled the girl asside. During this time I was wispering to her,”ignor them, dont go!” but shew went. SHe has too good a heart! But I kept my eye open. If i heard any sly tones or saw her so much as flinch I was ready to slug one of them so hard they would think kingdom had come. I was sick and tired of these antagonising bullies rallying against the weak gazel. She came back crying…tears of joy. They had appologised!!! It was unbelievable! The rest of the night they were going from tent to tent appologising, each as an individual, to those other individuals that they had antagonised throughout the year.
THe one that came to me, was a guy I was kinda friends with. None of them really felt they had to appologies to me, I mean, raise with two older brothers, though I might seem the girly girl ballerina, I can hold my own, and ballet has just made me stronger for it, (know what I mean? Not only can I kick them hard, I can kick them in the head too if need be :P). So this one dude that appologied, the only thing he had done all year was tease me about being Canadian… (yeah I’ve got a citizenship…that doesn’t mean I live in an Igloo while I’m there… typical american jerk). But when he wasn’t doing that he was actually a decent guy. So he was really self conscious (I can be intimidating if I want. I was giving him this glare like “What shit did you give my friend earlier”) and he put on this squeaky voice and started wringing his hands. SOooo cute! Like a hurt puppy! And he started appologising and I was just like :O I didnt care about myself but I realised that this was what they ALL had said to the other girl and I was all “AWWW DUDEEEE!” and I felt like congratulating him and all. Ok so I kinda went older sister on him and started knuckling his head (I’m actually a bit taller than him… tehehe).
Anyways back to the point. I live in the states, but this girl doesn’t well not anymore. Thats the problem. If this were in the states or Canada it would be easy and simple to call child services or something or other. I mean there are t.v. adds and everything broadcasting the organisations. Now this girl and I are both in Greece. She’s living here now, and I’m here for the summer. My greek is a bit rusty and she speaks no greek as she is French. She has adopted her parents’ negitive attitude towards Greece and their impression that no country compares to France. Ok, you can be patriotic, but that doesn’t mean you have to be Xenophobic… which they aren’t so much, just extremely biased… Anyways, my point being, though I know organisations like child services exist in Greece (like together for the child and such) and Have even done volounteer work with them I dont know how to get them to look into this case. Or if they even would. I think they would all be reluctant to take it on as the family is not Greek, for legal purposes.
And as for moving to Switzerland, away from the family… I wish she could. SHe loves her Grandparents. Hates her parents. But I worry her parent’s would make things worse for her if we tried to get help and nothing happened. And what would be the legal framework providing they stay in their grandparets’ care? What happens if they were to die? Would she be old enough, then to take her siblings under her own care. Her brother is only a few months younger than her. Which I found out (I thought he was at least a year) which lead me to believe something else. Not only did her mother not want her, and try to get rid of her, but she went on to have another child RIGHT afterwards (how messed up is this?) and whats worse is that she dammaged her girl further. If a child doesn’t get enough of her mothers milk inthe first few months, they will develop a diseas. I cant remeber what its called but it looks like this girl has it. Just that due to the lack of protein and such nutrients during her first year of life, her body hasn’t developed properly. Her hair is in poor condition, she has very little muscle mass, and extra weight whatsoever! Also, since a woman can’t become pregnant again until she has stopped producing breast milk, her mother mustn’t have breast fed her at all, because her brother is 9 months younger than her. so her mother got pregnant litterally RIGHT after she was born… disgusting.
Mirellarose
July 7th, 2010 at 08:38
Sorry that was so long…
drusillah
July 7th, 2010 at 08:50
Don’t worry about the length. 🙂 I read the whole thing non-stop.
I was wondering if really it was Greece because I saw another comment about Athens, but there is also Athens, Georgia. 😛
I am from Thessaloniki btw. 😛 Interesting coincidence!!
Hmmm, that does complicate things when she is in Greece. 😦 I don’t know how active they are.
That’s great that those boys apologized. 😀
Her mother sounds like an evil witch. 😦 Like the Uncle in “A Series of Unfortunate Events”. The girl is 16 right? She should take action somehow and take control of her eating habits and life. Or do they not give her money for food? Even if she has to make her own lunch. But not buying her a cast is simply horrid, I cannot even imagine how such a person can have children. I hate this, some people shouldn’t be allowed to give birth!
My mother also didn’t breastfeed me much, but for other reasons. I have allergies and asthma, but other than that I don’t notice a big difference that I wasn’t breastfed. Maybe if I was, I wouldn’t have asthma? It angers me when I think about it that I wasn’t, but what can I do.
That girl is lucky to have you as a friend and somebody who cares for her 🙂
Mirellarose
July 7th, 2010 at 09:20
Haha! Great to see someone see athens and think Athens Greece! I lived there for a year as a part of a student exchange program. I got to stay with my family as a part of that, sine my mother is Greek. She is actually from Halkidiki! Very pleasant coincidence! And you know, when I told people I was moving to Athens, they all gave me this weird look and would say ‘You’re moving down south to Georgia? Oh boy, your gonna come back talking all funny like!” (imagine a fake southern accent). 😛
Also glad you don’t mind length. Everythign I write is lengthy. 😛
It does make things more complicated. :S
And it was great! 😀
She has the feeling of one… And you know its funny, thats What I always thought too! I mean, they even moved around a lot too, so I really got that impression. It was like those kids being hurled from relative to relative… She is 16, but the problem with buying her own food is that if the kids want anything, I mean anything, like even paper or pens for school, they have to buy it themselves. And their parents won’t even take them to the store, and they live in the middle of nowhere. Its too far to bike, and as you know, the roads aren’t always the safest to bike on! And not that that’s so much a problem, to buy your own supplies, I mean how much does a pad of paper cost? but I mean ANYTHING! they have to pay for themselves. On a 5 euro a week alowance, when the school lunches are 2 euros…. it doesn’t always add up… you know?
I know what you mean. I once wondered if it was possible to apply a kinda Nazi-esque policy where you could somehow scan a person’s mind and see if they would be a good and nuturing parent and if not, sterilize them… but that is very… extreimist. I also don’t think its possible at all… just a muse… soemthing that popped into my mind while in a rage about this 😛
No you can’t help it sometimes. Some women aren’t able to breast feed. But it doesn’t seem like this girl was breast fed at all… I don’t think it would have an effect on whether or not you have asthma. I was breast fed until I was able to eat solids and was never on formula, yet I can still have asthma. Well, I have bad seasonal allergies, and the track and feil at my old school was surrounded by trees so while I was running I was inhalling all this pollen which I’m allergic to and so ended up having mild asthma. I only feel the effects when I am running long distance though…
Thank you. I just wish I could do more.